Gold Star Mothers Day 2014: “Do I tell them?”

September 28, 2014 Jane

Honoring and remembering the sacrifices of Mothers who have lost a son or daughter to war.

This is an email a Gold Star Mother, whom I’ll call “A.”, sent to me in 2006 after I asked her for a note for the condolence book I was putting together for a Mother whose son was coming home by way of Dover Air Force Base… in a flag-draped casket.

Subject: Do I tell them?

Date: 1/25/2006 2:18:05 PM

Dear Jane,

Please help me!

What do I say to her on the loss of their son? Do I lie to them to try to make them feel better? Or do I tell them the truth and what lies ahead?

Do I tell them that their life as they once knew it, is over, that they will never be the same again? Do I warn them that each passing day their hearts will break all over again? Do I tell them that the many stages of their lives are now only in two stages… before he died and after he died?

Do I tell them that they will never be happy again, that there will be days that they’ll laugh, but happiness will elude them? Do I tell them about the days that all they’ll want to do is scream? Do I tell them that the other days all they’ll do is cry?

Do I tell them about the nights they’ll listen for his footsteps on the porch and wait for the door to open? Do I tell them when they go to bed at night, they’ll pray that when they awaken in the morning they’ll find it was all just a horrible dream, or pray that they don’t wake up at all?

Please tell me, what do I say to them? My heart breaks for them, and all I can say is, “I know what you feel, I understand and I know the depth of your pain.”

Love as always,

A.

As my heart broke and the tears flowed for both of my friends, whose sons’ had died under similar circumstances in Iraq, I didn’t know what to say to her…

“A.” had lost her son, a Marine, in 2005 near Karmah, Iraq. Almost a year later the grief was still there as if it was just yesterday when the car pulled up in front of her home with the Casualty Officers bearing the devastating news about her son’s death.

Since 2001, at least 6,820 active duty Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, Airmen, and Coast Guardsmen have lost their lives while serving our Nation. Some during combat – hostile and non-hostile, and some during their recovery from war injuries. This number doesn’t include DoD civilian employees who were in the combat zones, nor does it include Veterans who died after completing their military contracts who served during this time period. I don’t know if it includes active duty stateside deaths during training or after duty hours.

4,478 United States service members from 2003 thru 2012 died in Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Operation New Dawn (OND), combined, according to the defense.gov website (http://www.defense.gov/NEWS/casualty.pdf).

In Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF), according to the above site, from 2001 thru September 25, 2014, and including Afghanistan, Guantanamo Bay (Cuba), Djibouti, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Jordan, Kenya, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Philippines, Seychelles, Sudan, Tajikistan, Turkey, Uzbekistan, and Yemen, there have been 2,342 US military deaths.

All I know to say is, “I’m so sorry…”

But that doesn’t bring the sons and daughters we loved before they were born, back to us. Does it?

The following organizations are just a few supporting our Gold Star Families.

American Gold Star Mothers, Inc.

https://www.goldstarmoms.com/

Gold Star Dads of America

https://goldstardads.org/

Gold Star Wives of America, Inc.

https://www.goldstarwives.org/

Love and Hugs,

2014, Blog, Luncheons

September 7, 2014 – 4th Floor

September 7, 2014 Jane

We never know who or how many we’ll serve at a luncheon. Today’s luncheon was busier than we’ve seen in a while. I don’t know if it’s because we’re on the events calender now or because the fighting has increased ‘over there”. Sure, there’s a draw-down. The fighting is still happening. In Afghanistan, and now we’re back in Iraq – sort of. Who knows where this will lead…

Statement from Pentagon Press Secretary Rear Admiral John Kirby on Haditha Dam Airstrikes

09/07/2014 03:55 AM CDT

IMMEDIATE RELEASE

No. NR-468-14
September 07, 2014

Statement from Pentagon Press Secretary Rear Admiral John Kirby on Haditha Dam Airstrikes

“At the request of the Government of Iraq, the U.S. military on Saturday conducted coordinated airstrikes against Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) terrorists in the vicinity of the Haditha Dam in Anbar province. We conducted these strikes to prevent terrorists from further threatening the security of the dam, which remains under control of Iraqi Security Forces, with support from Sunni tribes.
“The strikes were flown by aircraft under the control of U.S. Central Command. The strikes were conducted under authority to protect U.S. personnel and facilities, support humanitarian efforts, and support Iraqi forces that are acting in furtherance of these objectives.
“We will continue to conduct operations as needed in support of the Iraqi Security Forces and the Sunni tribes, working with those forces securing Haditha Dam.
“Sitting astride the Euphrates River, the Haditha Dam provides fresh water for millions of Iraqis, as well as their crops. It is the second largest hydroelectric contributor in the power system in Iraq.
“The potential loss of control of the dam or a catastrophic failure of the dam – and the flooding that might result – would have threatened U.S. personnel and facilities in and around Baghdad, as well as thousands of Iraqi citizens.”

Many thanks to today’s crew for taking a beautiful Sunday to serve the Warriors, their families, and the other patients on the 4th floor, TBI Ward, and the CCU families. I wasn’t there. Elizabeth sent the AAR and Mary took the pictures.

food Menu:

Chicken Noodle Soup

Tomato Soup

Sandwich Platter– Turkey, Ham, Roast Beef

Tuna Salad

Tomatoes and Mozzarella Salad

Fresh Fruit Salad

Cheese Platter

Bags of Chips

Assorted bottled/can drinks

Smoothies

Brownies

A bit from Elizabeth:

Stephanie and I went down to ICU… Two of the nurses/corpsmen on the ICU unit knew all about us and were very helpful. We ran into Sgt Major P. as he was visiting in ICU. There was one family there that we did bring up with us. They had a cute little 2 year old who loved watching Bob make his smoothie. He hung onto the edge of the table and watched Bob’s every move.

We do not provide food for the CCU patients, they are usually on special diets or can’t have solids. However the luncheons are a nice break and a distraction for their families.

The 4th floor consists of more than one ward and serves other types of patients in addition to combat wounded. A Dad asked Jillian and Hallie to visit his daughter. Can you tell they’re Orioles fans? 🙂 In an environment of mostly males, they were welcomed visitors for her.

Jillian, Bob, Gladys, and Hallie

Sounds like the event was a hit. Many thanks to those of you who support the luncheons. It means so much to those we serve.

Please keep our military and their families in your thoughts and prayers.

Until next time…

Love and Hugs,

Jane

2014, Blog, Luncheons

August 3, 2014 – 4th Floor: Changes

August 3, 2014 Jane

After our July 20^th luncheon we received an email from Walter Reed’s Environmental Health Department with new policies we’re required to follow.

I asked if there had been complaints and was told:

No, we are just trying to equally apply the standard for special events across NSAB
and ensure that the food served in the best possible way to prevent foodborne illness.

We look forward to working with you, so you can best serve the patients and families.

Thermometers from Hopkins

These policies, good food handling procedures, were implemented at today’s luncheon:

food transported safely to the hospital (already did this).
food gloves (we already used them).
head coverings (*flashback* – elementary school lunches and the lunch ladies! We chose ball caps instead of hair nets).
cold food kept below and hot food kept above specific temperatures during the event (bought food thermometers so we could be assured we were within their requirements).
hygienic serving equipment (we already did)

And the biggie:

Please be aware that home baked goods i.e. cookies, brownies, or pies are
authorized at this time. Homemade goods i.e. casseroles, salads, or
pot roast have to be store bought.

Today’s luncheon was all store bought.

Our luncheons are a welcome break to the fast food the families live on and have been a mixture of home made and store bought items. This is how we’ve been able to keep the costs down. Example:

Today’s 4 lbs of pulled pork BBQ and 24 rolls cost $98.58.
July 20th’s 5 lbs of pulled pork BBQ cost and 24 rolls cost $49.99.

July 20, 2014 – 4th Floor: DEDICATION

July 20, 2014 Jane 2 Comments

Dedication.

This is the word that describes my thoughts after Sunday’s luncheon.

The volunteers’ dedication – month after month helping out with the luncheons, some for many years, some just beginning, all willing to help where needed.

In 2005 and 2006 Janelle and I popped in to visit Marines and their families we had met online during our sons’ deployments. We began doing the luncheons in an organized manner in 2007.

Gladys and Bob have been with us since 2008. Tremendous supporters of our Marines.

Steph, since 2010. She heard about us through Marines at a Walter Reed event before Walter Reed moved over to Bethesda.

Dina, since 2012. Married to a Marine Veteran, she believes volunteerism and giving back to the community is important, and wanted to teach their sons by example.

Deb, since 2013. Our “Army Brat”, Deb grew up mostly in Germany, living in the United States a total of two years while in grades 1 – 12.

and Colette was with us for the first time today. She supports Veterans in another important way and wanted to do more. We met Colette at the Serving Together Veterans Resource Fair in May.

Dedication.

Each of them pitched in enthusiastically both in the weeks before and on the day of the luncheon with planning and prep to be ready to serve the patients and families at 1100. We were ready 20 minutes early.

Two Sergeant Majors stopped by while we were there to say hello before they visited the wounded Marines.

For those unaware, to reach this rank in the Marine Corps, the highest enlisted rank, takes a huge commitment, lots of perseverance, and tenacity. Dedication.

The dedication shown to their Marines, visiting them on a beautiful summer Sunday when they could be home with their family instead, is a huge morale booster to the wounded Warriors. And they don’t just visit wounded Marines on the 4th floor, they visit them wherever they are in the hospital.

The Warriors we met – DEDICATION.

Dedication to their country.

Dedication to their families.

Dedication to their recovery.

They inspire us.

Bob folding brochures

Bob has to stay busy, can’t stand to sit still so we had him folding MM-B brochures for us while we were waiting for our guests to arrive.

Buffet

The buffet was set up and we were all ready to go 20 minutes early.

pulled pork and baked beans

What’s pulled pork without baked beans?

tuna salad and rolls

Tuna salad for those who didn’t want pulled pork.

fruit salad and california salad

Fresh fruit salad and California salad.

This gorgeous afghan was made by one of the Outreach members from Bayside Quilters. I believe it went to a Soldier’s mom for her Soldier.

What a trooper!

What a trooper! Deb signed up in January for today’s luncheon, broke her ankle, and said nothing would keep her away!

Our “niftie-giftie” table. The quilt we’re using as a tablecloth is this year’s raffle quilt, “May All Eagles Fly”, donated to us by Bayside Quilters of the Eastern Shore, Easton, MD.

Today's Luncheon Crew

Job WELL done, Ladies and Bob! Thank you for your time, donations, and dedication to the patients and their families at Walter Reed/Bethesda.

—————-

Please remember there is still a war going on. Our Nation’s Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, Airmen, and Coast Guardsmen are all across the globe. If they are stateside they are training. If they’re deployed and not in a war zone, they are training.

On land… at sea… in the air…

Pararescuemen taking off in a helicopter at Bagram, July 9, 2014. — A U.S. Air Force pararescue team takes off in an HH-60G Pave Hawk helicopter from Bagram Airfield Afghanistan, July 9, 2014. The airmen represent U.S. Defense Department elite combat forces specifically trained, equipped and postured to conduct a range of personnel recovery combat operations. (Photo Credit: DoD)

U.S. Marines and Japanese Ground Self-Defense Force soldiers run as they emerge from the water while practicing small-unit techniques as part of the Japan Observer Exchange Program at Kin Blue Beach, Okinawa, Japan, July 16, 2014. The Marines are assigned to Lima Company, Battalion Landing Team 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit. The program enhances the interoperability of the two forces and the region’s security. (Photo Credit: DoD)

A Sergeant performs the last preflight check on a CH-46E Sea Knight on Marine Corps Air Facility Quantico, Va., July 16, 2014. — Sgt. Mario A. Ramirez performs the last preflight check on a CH-46E Sea Knight on Marine Corps Air Facility Quantico, Va., July 16, 2014. Shortly after Ramirez completed his check, the last four Sea Knights departed the squadron for the last time. Ramirez is an air frames mechanic assigned to Marine Corps Helicopter Squadron One, Headquarters Marine Corps. (Photo Credit: DoD)

If you consider our luncheons a worthy cause, please support us by buying a quilt raffle ticket or two. 100% of the proceeds directly support the patients and their families at Walter Reed through our luncheons. $1.00 a ticket or 6 for $5.00, checks or money orders should be made out to “Marine Moms Bethesda” and mailed to:

(This raffle is closed.)

Checks or money orders only, NO cash please. Please note “quilt raffle” in the memo line.

Final postmark date is August 1, 2014.

The Lucky Winner’s name will be drawn during our August 14th Mercy Hall luncheon.

Please include your email address if you’d like acknowledgement of the tickets and your phone number so we can contact you when you win.

Until next time, continued prayers for our military and their families.

Love & Hugs,

Jane

2014, Blog, Luncheons

June 19, 2014 – Mercy Hall’s Last Luncheon

June 19, 2014 Jane 2 Comments

Yes, this was our last luncheon at Mercy Hall. We’ll move over to Sanctuary Hall in August for the next Thursday luncheon.

Katie and GUy at the buffet ready to serve. — Katie and Guy are ready to serve lunch!

Ppigs in a Blanket — Pigs in a Blanket – there were none leftover!

Chicken macaroni casserole, green beans, and BBQ chicken with assorted rolls.

Potato salad, fresh fruit salad, cookies, and apple pie.

Didn't you love those little boxes of cereal when you were a kid? — Didn’t you love those little boxes of cereal when you were a kid?

We started out with 8 quilts. Two more, the boat one and the patriotic one had found a home by the time we left. — We started out with 8 quilts to give away. Two more, the boat one and the patriotic one, found a home by the time we left.

This is worth another picture, so goood! Cheesy chicken macaroni with peas.

Special THANKS to Graul’s Market in St, Michaels, MD for their donation of the assorted rolls, potato salad, fruit salad, cookies, and apple pie!

Bayside Quilters of Easton, MD supplied the quilts. They’ve been sending LOVE to the troops at the hospital and Mercy Hall since 2009. Thank you, Quilters!

The “Two If By Tea” tea was donated by an anonymous “Elf”. Thank you!

Katie and Guy, you are always such a pleasure to work with! Job well done! Thank you for your time and dedication to the guys and gals we serve at Mercy Hall!

We met some new people, their first time at one of our luncheons. There are very few places on base to eat and there’s no commissary on base, so even though they have microwaves in their rooms, the luncheons are always a HUGE morale booster for the Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, and Airmen we serve. It was nice meeting them and always a joy to see our old friends and catch up with them.

Now… about that macaroni and cheese… We’ve been working (sorta-kinda) on a cookbook of “tried and true” recipes from the luncheons over the years and should be rolling with it probably toward the end of July, beginning of August. More details to come…

And about the move over to Sanctuary Hall – before we left the base we drove by the building. It’s huge. We’re pretty sure we’ll be serving wounded, injured, and ill out-patients as well as single, enlisted service members (all service branches) stationed at Walter Reed when we do the switch-over. We’re anticipating serving double, maybe triple (maybe more?) the number of people we’ve been serving the past few years at Mercy Hall. We’ll see how it goes.

And who knows what will happen with the situation currently going on in Iraq? First it starts with “no boots on the ground”, then “300 advisors” and a ship with 500 Marines sitting off the coast… And the draw-down in Afghanistan going on… after 5 Taliban honchos have been released from Gitmo… Maybe this is what we need to do…………

They've sent the MOMS

Mmm hmmm… How long have we been talking about this, Ladies, 10 years or more?

The Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, Airmen, and Coast Guardsmen answered their country’s call and served their time over there with honor following the orders they were given. We’re proud of each and every one of you.

If you think what we do is a worthy cause, please consider buying a raffle ticket or two. We are 100% volunteer, and 100% of the proceeds from our annual quilt raffle fundraiser directly benefit those we serve through our luncheons. Administrative costs, and often times food, are out of pocket expenses for our volunteers. Final postmark is August 1st, tickets are $1.00 each or 6 for $5.00. For details, please click on the picture. Thank you for your consideration.

Our 2014 Raffle Quilt, “MAY ALL EAGLES FLY!”

Until next time, thoughts and prayers for our military and their families.

Love and Hugs,

Jane

Blog, Tributes

To the Dads

June 15, 2014 Jane

~The Moms

2014, Blog, Luncheons

June 8, 2014 – 4th Floor Luncheon In Pictures

June 8, 2014 Jane

Reports from the Moms is, “Things are quiet on the 4th floor these days.”

Let’s hope it stays that way!

Trying something new – today’s luncheon in pictures. Don’t turn your speakers up, I haven’t figured out how to add sound.

One thing’s for sure, no one leaves hungry when they’ve gone through the moms’ buffet line!

We’ll be at Mercy Hall on June 19th, our last luncheon there, then they will move over to the bigger barracks.

If you feel what we do is a worthy cause, please consider buying a raffle ticket or two. $1.00 each or 6 for $5.00. The winner’s name will be drawn at our August Mercy Hall soon-to-be Sanctuary Hall luncheon. This is our only fundraiser. Thank you for your consideration. Click on the picture for the details.

Until next time, continued prayers for our military and their families.

Love and Hugs,

Jane

Blog, Holidays

Honor the Fallen

May 26, 2014 Jane

(click the picture)

2014, Blog, Luncheons

May 18, 2014 – 4th Floor: What time of year is it?

May 18, 2014 Jane

What time of year is it?

It’s BBQ season!

The Team:

Dina, Barb & Don, Steph, and Katie

Thank you, Dina, for taking the lead with the luncheon and to all of you for a job well done!

The Menu:

Hamburgers, hot dogs, brats, and all the fixin’s

Potato soup

Baked beans

Green beans

Fresh fruit

Assorted desserts & drinks

Fresh smoothies

AAR:

The ward is pretty quiet – this is GOOD!

Leftovers were taken to the TBI Ward, the kitchens (called “nourishment centers” – they aren’t “real” kitchens although they have a coffee maker, microwave, toaster, and fridge), and I think someone said some stuff went over to Mercy Hall.

Our next luncheon is June 8th on the 4th floor.

Luncheons are funded by our volunteers and by supporters both local and across the country. Thank You!

(Photo credit goes to Katie. Thanks for sharing the pictures!)

**********

If you’re interested, our Annual Quilt Raffle has begun. This is our only fundraiser.

This year’s quilt was once again donated by Bayside Quilters of the Eastern Shore. “May All Eagles Fly!”

We are an ALL VOLUNTEER support group with 100% of the proceeds from the raffle supporting the luncheons.

We serve combat wounded patients, injured patients, and ill patients – all service branches, and their family members who are on the 4th floor, ICU and the Traumatic Brain Injury Ward at Walter Reed.

Every other month we serve wounded, injured, and ill out-patients living at Mercy Hall, a small transitional out-patient barracks. When Mercy Hall transitions over to the new building we expect to be serving many more service members.

Yes, the draw down continues in Afghanistan, however troops are still being deployed there, and to other dangerous (and not so dangerous) places. For example, we’ve served patients (and their families) who were injured during training accidents and off-duty accidents – abroad and stateside. .

If you feel our luncheons are a worthy cause please consider buying raffle tickets. $1.00 each or 6 for $5.00. Click on the picture below for details. Thank you for your consideration.

Until next time, continued prayers for our military and their families.

Love and Hugs,

Blog, Events, Resources

2nd Annual Veteran Resource & Volunteer Fair at Glen Echo Park

May 8, 2014 Jane

Mark your calendars and come see us Saturday!

The 2^nd Annual Veteran Resource and Volunteer Fair is Saturday May 10, 2014 at Glen Echo Park’s beautiful Spanish Ballroom from 10am to 3pm.

Come learn about local services—employment, guide dogs, financial assistance—and bring the Family.

Tickets are available on a first come basis for the Historic Dentzel Carousel & The Puppet Co.’s showing of Pinocchio, so bring the Family!

New this year, organizations like Marine Moms-Bethesda, Operation Homefront, Warrior Canine Connection, Easter Seals and more will be there to talk about ways you can volunteer! Come participate in a service project honoring military, veterans & their families.

For more, visit

(Link is no longer active.)

Menu:

Dedication.

~The Moms

What time of year is it?

It’s BBQ season!

**********

Bringing "Comforts of Home" to Bethesda (now Walter Reed NMMC) since 2005.